Gonzales

This is my authetnic voice, I always spell the word “authentic” as “authetnic”, so people know it’s me.

I am Chilly Gonzales, the sad musical genius. Some of you may know that I was born Jason Beck, but Jason is dead to me now.  I have permanently and legally changed my name to Chilly Gonzales.

The Canadian name police finally found a young Mexican-Canadian boy with the name Chilly Alejandro Gonzales.

To trademark this name I had to buy his identity for a pretty penny, much as my fellow piano-man Billy Joel™ had to.

Money changed hands.

And I believe that my name change has already brought some positivity into the world, if only by lifting a large Mexican-Canadian family out of poverty into middle-class aspiration.

To celebrate me becoming me, I offer to you the first-ever piano mixtape “PIANIST ENVY”.  My declaration of defiance to the rappers and beatmakers who, unbeknownst to them, leave space for my musical imagination.

You know those rap beats and electro songs – the ones with almost nothing in them? Tipsy, Grindin’, A Millie, Rollin’ and Scratchin’, Single Ladies? Well, I go all Liberace on these beats with my piano and my orchestra. Claude Von Stroke, 50 Cent, Kelly Clarkson, Rocky Balboa and Gonzo himself all make cameos.